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#51081 - 07/16/18 09:13 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Trumby]
Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3833
Loc: S/W Missouri
Good one! laugh laugh laugh
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#51089 - Yesterday at 08:44 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Online   content
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5212
Loc: Always on the move
A drunk staggers into a church one evening, goes into the confessional box and sits down. He doesn’t say a word.
The priest coughs to try and get his attention. There’s no response so the priest coughs again. There’s still no response from the drunk.

The priest coughs a couple of more times and still doesn’t get any response, so finally he pounds on the wall.



The drunk slurs, “There’s no use knocking. There’s no paper this side either.”
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Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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#51090 - Yesterday at 06:11 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 6044
Loc: NSW
lol. When ya gotta go ya gotta go!
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Ever had one of those days when you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, one sock on and one off, trying to work out if you’re just getting up or getting ready for bed?

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#51091 - Yesterday at 06:16 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 6044
Loc: NSW
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer.

After giving it to him, Larry asked “What is the usual tip?”

“Well” replied the youth “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.”

“Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.”

“Thanks,” replied the youth “I’ll put this in my school fund.”

“What are you studying in school?” asked Larry.

The lad smiled and said “Applied psychology.”
_________________________


Ever had one of those days when you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, one sock on and one off, trying to work out if you’re just getting up or getting ready for bed?

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#51092 - Yesterday at 06:17 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 6044
Loc: NSW
An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn’t get up to leave until the theatre was ready to close for the night.

“You folks must’ve enjoyed the show,” the usher said.

“Disgusting “ said the old lady.

“It was revolting” her husband added.

“Then why did you sit through it twice?” the usher asks.

“We had to wait until you turned up the house lights,” the old lady replied. “We couldn’t find my panties, and his teeth were in them!”
_________________________


Ever had one of those days when you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, one sock on and one off, trying to work out if you’re just getting up or getting ready for bed?

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#51096 - Today at 01:16 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3833
Loc: S/W Missouri
laugh laugh laugh
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A proud Dog, Rat, and Hog

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#51097 - Today at 11:47 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Online   content
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5212
Loc: Always on the move
So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living. He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air – but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.
Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was once again unharmed.

Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.



“You know what? No,” said the executioner. “I’ve had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I’m not giving you a thing to eat; we’re strapping you in and doing this now.” Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.

The man looked at the executioner and said, “Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I’m just a bad conductor.”
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Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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