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#52028 - 03/14/19 01:39 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
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Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4056
Loc: S/W Missouri
Ain't it the truth! laugh laugh laugh
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#52029 - 03/14/19 02:06 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
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Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 6511
Loc: NSW
Due to the Me Too movement I need to tell you about my co-worker Fred, He was brought up on harassment charges due to his telling a co-worker her hair smelled nice. The reason he got into trouble was he was a midget!!
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"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most................."

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#52030 - 03/14/19 02:08 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
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Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 6511
Loc: NSW
So, this fellow walks into a big time show business agent’s office, carrying a dog, and says, “I can make you a million bucks! My dog, here, and I have a talking dog act!”

The agent, wise in the ways of vaudeville, says, “Get out a here! Nobody wants to see a talking dog act!”

The guy persists. “Just gimme a minute! We’ll amaze you, and you’ll change your mind!”

Without missing a beat, he turns to the dog, and asks, “What do you call that thing on top of a house?”

The dog cocks his head, and replies, “Roof!”

The guy continues. “What’s On the outside of a tree?”

The dog, excited now, responds, “Bark!”

Next question, “Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?”

The answer came. “Ruth!”

The agent leaped to his feet, and chased the pair from his office, hurling curses, and slammed the door with finality.

The guy sat on the curb, disappointment in every sigh. His dog lay beside him, forlornly, until he sat up, and, leaning into his master’s shoulder, wondered, “Ya think I shoulda gone with Dimaggio?”
_________________________


"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most................."

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#52031 - 03/14/19 02:12 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
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Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 6511
Loc: NSW
A young woman arrived late at a concert to find the inner door closed. She showed her ticket to an usher and asked to be let in.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” said the usher. “I can’t open this door until intermission.”

“But I won’t disturb anyone,” promised the young woman. “Ill just stand at the back of the auditorium and listen.”

“Sorry ma’am.”

“But they’re playing a new symphony that I’m particularly anxious to hear,” the young woman said pleadingly.

“That’s just it, ma’am,” sighed the usher. “If I opened the door now, half the audience would rush out.”
_________________________


"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most................."

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#52034 - 03/15/19 12:09 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
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Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4056
Loc: S/W Missouri
Everywhere a critic! laugh
_________________________
A proud Dog, Rat, and Hog

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