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#50204 - 11/26/17 02:59 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5692
Loc: NSW
Two little boys are in a hospital and are lying next to each other. The first boy leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second replies, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first boy says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It’s a piece of cake!”

The second boy then asks, “What are you in here for?”

The first boy replies, “Well, I’m here for a circumcision.”

The second says, “Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!!!”
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#50205 - 11/26/17 03:09 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5692
Loc: NSW
A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis. He called in his receptionist to show her.

She took one look and said,

“Big deal. That’s just like my husband’s penis.”

“You mean he’s got one that long?” asked the surprised mortician.

“No,” she replied. “That dead.”
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#50206 - 11/26/17 03:16 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5692
Loc: NSW
The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.’

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked why she hadn't eaten her share

She answered --

I will, I'm just waiting on the teeth.
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#50207 - 11/26/17 06:18 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband. "I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?" He replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#50208 - 11/26/17 06:24 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having
a little chat. "How are you, Tom?" asked Marvin.
"I'm not feeling well today - utterly exhausted," Tom replied. "I pulled a
muscle and it's killing me."
"That pulled muscle shouldn't make you so tired, though."
"Well, it does if you pull it a couple of hundred times...."
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#50242 - 12/05/17 05:42 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Carl Theile]
Private Klink Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3687
Loc: S/W Missouri
Carl, are you pulling my lariat??? laugh
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A proud Dog, Rat, and Hog

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#50243 - 12/05/17 08:01 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Private Klink]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5692
Loc: NSW
Originally Posted By: Private Klink
Carl, are you pulling my lariat??? laugh


LMAO grin
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#50244 - 12/05/17 08:05 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5692
Loc: NSW
The preacher visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into heaven.

The woman said she would try her best. The preacher visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.

“Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in High Heels, he pulled up my skirt, and made love to me right then and there.”

“They don’t like that in heaven”, said the preacher.

The woman replied: “They’re not too happy about it in Walmart either!”
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#50246 - 12/06/17 11:28 AM Re: Giggles [Re: Private Klink]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Originally Posted By: Private Klink
Carl, are you pulling my lariat??? laugh


Leave it to you, Klink. smile

-carl
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#50250 - 12/07/17 11:59 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Carl Theile]
Private Klink Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3687
Loc: S/W Missouri
Got to have a sense of humor. wink.................. grin
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