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#43226 - 05/23/15 01:57 AM Re: Giggles [Re: Trumby]
Private Klink Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3667
Loc: S/W Missouri
laugh
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A proud Dog, Rat, and Hog

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#43235 - 05/23/15 02:54 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6374
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Oo wins in my book.

-carl
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#43240 - 05/23/15 03:38 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
worldwood Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 3295
Loc: Under your bed
HAHA!!

Smaller brain VS worn out -------!!


And always avoid the donuts LOL
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#43241 - 05/23/15 04:12 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5655
Loc: NSW
TEXTING Daddy,
I am coming home to get married, soon. Get out your check book. LOL I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whats-app, he proposed to me on Skype, and now we've had two months of relationship through Viber. My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding."

Lots of love and thanks, Your favorite daughter,

Lilly

Dad's reply ... also by texting

My Dear Lilly: Like Wow! Really? Cool!

Whatever... , I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through Paypal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on Ebay.
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#43266 - 05/24/15 09:43 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5138
Loc: Always on the move
Advantages of being old.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
People call at 9 PM and ask, ďDid I wake you?Ē
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
You have a party and the neighbors donít even realize it.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes wonít get much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
You canít remember who sent you this list.
_________________________
Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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#43270 - 05/24/15 11:01 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6374
Loc: Outside, anywhere
I'm old....

OK to all but:
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
You have a party and the neighbors donít even realize it.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with elevator music.

I still learn some things the hard way, Hate "old folks" grousing about aches and pains or operations, don't care about pension plans, party hard, see speed limits as a challenge, don't have to hold my gut in, and can't hear elevator music. smile

-carl
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#43272 - 05/24/15 02:58 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5655
Loc: NSW
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won!!

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the next race, and it won that race too.

The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in other races.

The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN!!

The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey as soon as possible. So she sold it to a local farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey, and take it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is ... being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#43273 - 05/24/15 03:26 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6374
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Great advice, served with great humor.

-carl
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#43291 - 05/24/15 08:00 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5138
Loc: Always on the move
True words Ian. And it made me laugh. Two for one!
_________________________
Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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#43305 - 05/25/15 10:23 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Joshua R. Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 2872
Very nice.

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