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#42775 - 05/02/15 03:42 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Still chucklin'

-carl
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Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#42783 - 05/02/15 06:43 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5984
Loc: NSW
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along." grin
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If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#42784 - 05/02/15 08:51 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5984
Loc: NSW
This sounds familiar. grin

"What would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, Beef or Lamb?"

I said, "Thank you, dear, I think I'll have chicken."

She replied, "You're having soup, asshole. I was talking to the cat."
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If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#42785 - 05/02/15 09:53 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Online   content
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5205
Loc: Always on the move
Those last two were great Ian.
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Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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#42792 - 05/03/15 08:23 AM Re: Giggles [Re: Drumrboy]
Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3807
Loc: S/W Missouri
Yep'! laugh
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#42795 - 05/03/15 10:16 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Better than having asshole soup, I recon.... smile

-carl
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#42824 - 05/06/15 11:38 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Online   content
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5205
Loc: Always on the move
A son asked his father, “Dad, can you tell me what gay means?”
“It means to be happy,” the father replied.

“Are you gay, dad?”

“No, son. I married your mother”
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Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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#42846 - 05/08/15 01:24 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5984
Loc: NSW
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top O the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.'

They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.

The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?'

She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'

The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer #ookin' candle... '
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If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#42847 - 05/08/15 01:26 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5984
Loc: NSW
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#42852 - 05/08/15 01:56 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Joshua R. Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 2872
Very funny.

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