header

Page 135 of 301 < 1 2 ... 133 134 135 136 137 ... 300 301 >
Topic Options
#42448 - 04/15/15 02:50 AM Re: Giggles [Re: Drumrboy]
Private Klink Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3643
Loc: S/W Missouri
For sure! laugh
_________________________
A proud Dog, Rat, and Hog

Top
#42499 - 04/16/15 11:03 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5583
Loc: NSW
BBQ Procedures!!!

Standard Operating Procedures released today please learn

We are about to enter the BBQ season.

Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of event are put into motion:

Routine...

(1)

The woman buys the food.

(2)

The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3)

The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4)

The woman remains outside the compulsory nine feet exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5)

THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...

(6)

The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7)

The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(8)

THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THEWOMAN.

Moreroutine...

(9)

The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10)

After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all:

(11)

Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12)

The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off", and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
_________________________


Sometimes I sit and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum ... then I take a look around me and realize maybe I already am.

Top
#42503 - 04/16/15 11:48 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5138
Loc: Always on the move
Ian, that is more true than any of us want to admit. That one made me laugh...and I needed a good laugh today.
_________________________
Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

Top
#42504 - 04/17/15 01:34 AM Re: Giggles [Re: Drumrboy]
Private Klink Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3643
Loc: S/W Missouri
I have no problem admitting that; I try to make a point of thanking my wife for all her work with every meal. wink
_________________________
A proud Dog, Rat, and Hog

Top
#42507 - 04/17/15 02:43 AM Re: Giggles [Re: Private Klink]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5583
Loc: NSW
Originally Posted By: Private Klink
I try to make a point of thanking my wife for all her work with every meal. wink


Smart move! grin

I married a ranga' (redhead in Aussie speak. :D)
And she has the temper to go with it.
_________________________


Sometimes I sit and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum ... then I take a look around me and realize maybe I already am.

Top
#42511 - 04/17/15 12:29 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Trumby]
Private Klink Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3643
Loc: S/W Missouri
My younger neighbor has the same problem! laugh laugh laugh
_________________________
A proud Dog, Rat, and Hog

Top
#42513 - 04/17/15 11:14 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Private Klink]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5583
Loc: NSW
Originally Posted By: Private Klink
My younger neighbor has the same problem! laugh laugh laugh


There's an old saying, if you want a redhead to have a mood change, just wait ten seconds. grin


A redhead accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

"Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease brought on by stress," he informed her. "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he's in a good mood. For lunch and dinner make him nutritious meals. There should be no dessert in the house. No chocolate. No fighting. Don't burden him with chores or discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband whenever he wants it and be sure to satisfy his every whim even if this means doing things you wouldn't normally do. If you can do this for the next year or so, your husband should regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.

She sighed sadly and replied, "You're going to die." grin
_________________________


Sometimes I sit and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum ... then I take a look around me and realize maybe I already am.

Top
#42516 - 04/17/15 11:55 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Trumby]
Private Klink Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3643
Loc: S/W Missouri
An oldie but goody!!! grin
_________________________
A proud Dog, Rat, and Hog

Top
#42528 - 04/19/15 04:09 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5138
Loc: Always on the move
Juan and Carlos have been stranded in the desert for 2 days. They are on the verge on dying of thirst when Juan sees something in the distance.
He gets closer to confirm his suspicions – off in the distance is an incredibly juicy bacon tree. “Mira!!” (Look!) “Carlos! Up ahead, it’s a bacon tree!! A juicy delicious bacon tree!”

At this point Juan takes off in a sprint towards the bacon tree when out of nowhere he is gunned down!

Carlos runs to Juan’s side as he lay there dying. Juan looks at Carlos and, with his final breaths, manages to say “Carlos, mi amigo, it was not a bacon tree. It was a ham bush.”
_________________________
Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

Top
#42534 - 04/19/15 06:55 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Online   content
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6329
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Oh that's bad- very very bad. Which is why I laughed, I guess.

-carl
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

Top
Page 135 of 301 < 1 2 ... 133 134 135 136 137 ... 300 301 >


Moderator:  Carl Theile, Joshua R.