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#41973 - 03/09/15 06:23 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Carl Theile]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5984
Loc: NSW
Originally Posted By: Carl Theile


...turning the heat off wink

-carl


grin I thought that was fairly decent of him considering her well being during his absence. laugh
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#42053 - 03/17/15 02:54 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Online   content
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5205
Loc: Always on the move
A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Everything turned out fine, except the doctor said he was a little cockeyed.
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#42054 - 03/17/15 04:02 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
I think I know that kid- he keeps looking back at me from the other side of the mirror.

-carl
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#42059 - 03/17/15 06:06 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Drumrboy]
Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3807
Loc: S/W Missouri
OY! laugh
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#42085 - 03/19/15 12:45 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5984
Loc: NSW
We recently spent $2,500 on a young Black Angus bull. We put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.

I was beginning to suspect he was gay, if that's possible with a bull. Anyhow, I had the Vet come have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly a little young, so he gave me ... some pills to feed him once per day.

Holy crap! The bull started to service the cows within two days. All of my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred all my neighbor's cows! He's been breeding just about everything in sight.

He's like a machine!

I don't know what in hell was in the pills the Vet gave him, but they kinda taste like peppermint.
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If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#42087 - 03/19/15 12:49 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Online   content
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5205
Loc: Always on the move
Good one Ian!
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#42088 - 03/19/15 12:49 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5984
Loc: NSW
A couple purchased a talking parrot on their honeymoon--much to the groom's annoyance, since the bird kept a running commentary on their lovemaking.

The groom finally threw a towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if it didn't shut up.

The next morning, packing to return home, the newlyweds couldn't close the large suitcase.

"Honey," the groom said, "you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work.

Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, the bride said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success.

Then the man said, "Let's both get on top and try."

At that point the parrot yanked away the towel and said, "Zoo or no zoo, this I gotta see!"
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#42093 - 03/19/15 02:59 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Joshua R. Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 2872
Very funny

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#42094 - 03/19/15 04:05 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5984
Loc: NSW
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff.

None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce,

"I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing...

After about 20 minutes, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confessed... "Not with a Daffodil."
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#42102 - 03/20/15 10:16 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Trumby]
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Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3807
Loc: S/W Missouri
Straight from the original movie M*A*S*H*. Only they used a daisy. grin
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