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#35666 - 04/08/14 06:40 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5231
Loc: Always on the move
I like the cat one, but I'm surprised the guy was asking for directions.

My wife just says I'm stubborn.
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#35675 - 04/08/14 02:55 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Drumrboy]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Originally Posted By: Drumrboy
I like the cat one, but I'm surprised the guy was asking for directions.

My wife just says I'm stubborn.


...same for me. smile
-carl
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Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

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#35727 - 04/10/14 09:04 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5231
Loc: Always on the move
After years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her.
The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said ABCDEFGHIJK

“What does that mean?” She asked.

“Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot” he replied.

Wife Smiling asked, “What about IJK?”

He replied: I’m Just Kidding!
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#35730 - 04/10/14 07:04 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 6516
Loc: NSW
lol. Good one. grin
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#35739 - 04/10/14 09:42 PM Re: Giggles [Re: Trumby]
Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4057
Loc: S/W Missouri
And hazardous to his health! eek
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#35790 - 04/13/14 10:55 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 6516
Loc: NSW
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy.

"She's incredibly mixed up," said one doctor. "She does everything absolutely backwards. Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near died on us!"

The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tries to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy damn near exploded!"

Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall.

"Oh my God!", said the first doctor, "I just realised I told Nurse Nancy to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"
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"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most................."

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#35792 - 04/14/14 07:15 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5231
Loc: Always on the move
It was Sunday morning when Bill, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go nail the first deer of the season.
He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Judy, sitting there, fully decked out in camouflage overalls.

Bill asks her, “Ummm, What are you up to?”

Judy smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!”

Bill, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along. Two hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside the city.

Bill sets his overly anxious wife up safely in the deer stand and tells her, “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.”

Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn’t bag an elephant…. much less a deer. Not 15 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears a breakout of gunshots. Quickly, Bill starts running back.

As Bill gets closer to her stand, he hears Judy screaming, “Get away from my damn deer!”

Confused and frightened Bill races faster towards his screaming wife.

And again he hears her scream, “Get away from my deer now!” followed by another volley of gunfire!

Now, within sight of where he had left his wife, Bill is surprised to see a Texas cowboy, with his hands high in the air.

The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, “Okay, lady! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!”
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#35814 - 04/15/14 07:30 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5231
Loc: Always on the move
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as “Luvs”, “Huggies,” and “Pampers’, while undergarments for old people are called “Depends”.
Well here is the low down on the whole thing.

When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv’em, Hug’em and Pamper’ em.

When old people crap in their pants, it “Depends” on who’s in the will!
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#35821 - 04/15/14 03:38 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Well, THAT was informative. Ian, take note. smile

-carl
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Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#35845 - 04/16/14 03:04 AM Re: Giggles [Re: Drumrboy]
Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4057
Loc: S/W Missouri
Now THAT is a great one Jon!!! laugh laugh laugh
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