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#3492 - 06/13/12 05:51 PM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 5883
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Hey, Fathers day is coming up. Rest up.
-carl
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Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#3493 - 06/13/12 05:55 PM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
MonkeyBomb Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 614
Loc: USA
Bleh, its hot outside and I spent the morning and afternoon running errands.
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#3494 - 06/14/12 07:18 PM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
Drumrboy Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4900
Loc: Always on the move
Howdy rats. Another day, another show. Ohio today, Michigan tomorrow then home for a day and a half! It's about time.
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Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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#3495 - 06/14/12 08:53 PM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4862
Loc: NSW
Originally Posted By: Drumrboy;4772
Howdy rats. Another day, another show. Ohio today, Michigan tomorrow then home for a day and a half! It's about time.


Here's a bush poem just for you Drumrboy. laugh

BUCK YOU BASTARD BUCK

Here's a tale of Billy Hays from out near Alice Springs
A wild young ringer, he'd done some crazy things
He'd bucked bulls over fences, rode a colt up Ayres Rock
See his legs weren't made for walking they were made for riding stock

A legend round the rodeo from Allaroon to Broome
An untried horse at 6am was saddle broke by noon
No form of equine foolery he wasn't game to try
Only one thing ever spooked him,
He was way too scared to fly.

Well if I was meant to fly he said
I'd have feathers and a beak,
You fly and waste a day and I'll drive and waste a week
I hear they're safe as houses and mechanically they're sound
But I don't see no rope or bridle so aye, I'm staying on the ground

One day Bill got a call from his mate in Adelaide,
He'd got his girl in trouble and the wedding cards were played
He said, Mate I don't care how you do it you can beg or steel or borrow
But Mate you're gunna have to catch the plane, coz the big day is tomorrow.

Billy cursed and spat it "That dopey bloody coot!
He knows I'll jump on anything that's coming out a chute
I've caught stallions that'd kill you, caught bulls gone off their brain
But I never thought there'd come a day I'd have to catch a plane!"

Bill legged it to the airport and thought "Well this is it"
The lady at the counter asked "Where would you like to sit?"
He said "You know that black box thing they always seem to find
"Well you can stick me right in side it if you wouldn't bloody mind"

She gave a friendly smile and "Sir I'll just take your bag"
He said "I don't bloody think so, 'n by the way it's called a swag."
Bill was sweatin' buckets when they finally cleared the strip
He had his seatbelt on that tight he was bleedin' from the hip

But when they leveled out he stopped shakin at the knees
Looked around , relaxed 'n thought "This flyin' game's a breeze"
He clipped his belt undone, stretched out in his seat
Well he couldn't stretch that much 'cause his swag was at his feet.

Then the captain crackled something, Bill asked the hostess what was said
"Sir you'd better buckle up there's some turbulence ahead:
Turbulence - what's that?" "Sir it's pockets caused by heat
"And when it gets severe it can throw you from your seat."

"Throw me, I'll be buggered," Bill pushed his seat right back,
Wrapped his legs around his swag and stuck his left hand through the strap
He jammed down his Akubra, he was ready now to ride
Then things got pretty bumpy and Billy yelled "Outside!"

The plane she dropped a thousand feet, bounced up five hundred more
When his head hit the roof, his backside hit the floor!
"I've rode all through the Territory and never come unstuck
So give me all you've got big bird - buck you bastard buck!"

And while the passengers were screaming in fear of certain death
Billy whooped and hollered 'til he near ran out of breath
You'd have thought that canvas swag was welded to his ass
And before the ringer knew it he's bucked up to business class

There seemed no way to tame this creature, it had ten gears and reverse
But that didn't worry Billy, he just bucked on through to first
He did somersaults with twists on this mongrel mount from hell
He yelled out to the pilot "for Christ sake ring the bell!"

Bill was bleeding from the bugle, he had cuts above both eyes
If you weren't there on the spot ya probably think I'm tellin' lies
He'd been upside down and inside out, done flips and triple spins
Ya might a' seen some great rides in your time but hands down Billy wins

The flight returned to normal, Bill was flat out on the deck
Still stuck to his swag but he looked a bloody wreck
He pulled himself together, stood up straight and raised his hat
He said "I've had some tough trips in me day but never one like that."

"an eight-second spin in Alice proves your made of sturdy stuff
But I was on there a near a minute and I reckon that's enough."
The first class folk were dumbstruck at this crazy ringer's feat
but Bill just grabbed a crownie and walked back to his seat.

Now years have passed and Bill's long give the buckin' game away
Too many breaks and dusty miles for far too little pay
Now plane's are not a worry, in fact he'd rather fly than ride
"N when you talk about his maiden voyage his chest puffs out with pride

"You can talk about your Rocky Neds or that old Chainsaw bloke
I'd ride 'em both without a rope and roll a bloody smoke
There's cowboys 'round who think they're hot, well they aint tasted heat
"Til they've ridden time on Turbulence at 30,000 feet."
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Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes that would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head, that’ll freak you right out.

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#3496 - 06/14/12 09:07 PM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
infocus2006 Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 2180
That is a awesome poem! Thanks for sharing!
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Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it." ...Jack Burton Big Trouble in Little China

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#3497 - 06/14/12 09:17 PM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
Dogtired Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 2281
Loc: In a phone booth near you
That was TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!!!!
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“There's no Justice like angry mob justice” --Seymour Skinner

Old School Rats

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#3498 - 06/14/12 11:51 PM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
Drumrboy Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4900
Loc: Always on the move
That's a beauty Ian. You are a diamond geezer for sure. Here's to you mate....

All the best.
_________________________
Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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#3499 - 06/15/12 12:12 AM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 5883
Loc: Outside, anywhere
That's a good'un, Ian wink
-carl
_________________________
Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#3500 - 06/15/12 07:44 AM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3523
Loc: S/W Missouri
Oh man D-boy, you DO get around!..eek

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#3501 - 06/15/12 02:31 PM Re: The New Rat Chat Death Chat
Drumrboy Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4900
Loc: Always on the move
Yep. Sitting in the middle of a field at a festival. Home for a day tomorrow, then off to Philly for a week! Yee Haw....
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Old School Swamp Rat

Never Stop Trying

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