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#28246 - 09/26/13 10:16 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Drumrboy Offline
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5231
Loc: Always on the move
A young farm couple, Homer and Daisy, got married and just
couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left
the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from
the fields, they made love. After supper, they made love. And again at
bedtime, they made love.

The problem was their nooner: it took Homer a half hour to
travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just
wasn't getting enough work done.

Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do. "Homer," said
the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the fields with you and when
you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Daisy's
signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."

They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while until one
day when Homer came back to the doctor's office. "What's wrong?" asked
the Doc. "Didn't my idea work?" "Oh, it worked good," said Homer.
"Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and
Daisy'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and then
she'd go back home agin." "Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked
the Doc. "Ah mighta trained her too good. I ain't seen her since
huntin' season started!"
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#28256 - 09/27/13 03:04 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
worldwood Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 3295
Loc: Under your bed
LMAO these are great!

This guy has the right idea!!

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#28272 - 09/28/13 02:39 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Magoo Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 2101
Loc: Up a Tree
A couple of AFP ( Australian Federal Police ) officers stopped at a property west of Canberra and talked to an old Aboriginal standing on the road. He told the old Aboriginal, "Morning sir, I need to inspect this land for illegally grown drugs."
The elder reluctantly said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he nodded his head towards the location.
The AFP officer verbally exploded & said, "Look sir, I have the authority of the federal government with me!". Reaching into his rear back pocket, the AFP officer removed his badge & proudly displayed it to the old Aboriginal. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want, whenever I want................on any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand mate?"
The elder nodded kindly, apologized & went about his business. Moments later he heard loud - fearful screams; he looked up & saw the AFP officer running for his life, being chased by a large Bull. With every step the Bull was gaining ground on the officer & it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old Aboriginal threw down his tools & ran as fast as he could to the fence & yelled at the top of his lungs...... "YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BLOODY BADGE!"


Edited by Magoo (09/28/13 02:41 AM)
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#28277 - 09/28/13 08:46 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Magoo-
I love that one. smile
-carl
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You are not out of options until you quit.

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#28288 - 09/29/13 12:51 AM Re: Giggles [Re: Carl Theile]
Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4057
Loc: S/W Missouri
Me too! laugh laugh laugh
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#28290 - 09/29/13 01:49 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Magoo Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 2101
Loc: Up a Tree
Thanks Carl. An oldie but a goodie. wink
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#28292 - 09/29/13 08:40 AM Re: Giggles [Re: worldwood]
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Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 4057
Loc: S/W Missouri
Originally Posted By: worldwood
LMAO these are great!

This guy has the right idea!!




That is one smart..and happy...chimpanzee! grin
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#28295 - 09/29/13 12:02 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
worldwood Offline
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 01/17/13
Posts: 3295
Loc: Under your bed
He is my role model LMAO
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#28296 - 09/29/13 01:11 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6396
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Not me, I'm no-longer wired for 320 smile
-carl
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Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#28409 - 10/02/13 06:15 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
RobStanley Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 498
Loc: Straya
[video:youtube]http://youtu.be/Hl_QWkvtCXI[/video]

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