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#49992 - 09/25/17 11:49 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6374
Loc: Outside, anywhere
I have a love-hate inclination to that one. smile

-carl
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Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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#49994 - 09/25/17 04:01 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5654
Loc: NSW
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, ‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM.’ He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.’

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#49995 - 09/25/17 04:02 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5654
Loc: NSW
“POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN, AND FOR THE SAME REASON”.
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If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#49996 - 09/25/17 04:06 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5654
Loc: NSW
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office.

He was told to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk

With his ‘private part’ hanging out.

‘I thought I told you to call your mum!’ she said.

‘I did, ‘ he said, ‘And she told me that if I could stick it out until lunchtime, she’d come and pick me up from school.
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#49997 - 09/25/17 04:07 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5654
Loc: NSW
When a girl gets a vibrator, it’s seen as a bit of naughty fun.

BUT ... when a guy orders a 240-volt Winford BonkMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6-speed pulsating vag, elasticized backdoor with non-drip fluid collection tray, together with optimal built -in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert!!
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#49998 - 09/25/17 04:10 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5654
Loc: NSW

Can't Win.

I was sitting with the computer the other day drafting my will & I called out to my wife

“WHEN I DIE I’M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU, LOVE!”

She shouted back “YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY BASTARD!”
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#50005 - 09/27/17 08:56 AM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Happy Birthday Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3667
Loc: S/W Missouri
laugh laugh laugh
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#50006 - 09/27/17 06:27 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Trumby Online   content
Aussie Bush Rat
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 5654
Loc: NSW
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic

School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. ‘Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?’

When Mary Margaret didn’t stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

‘God Almighty!’ shouted Mary Margaret.

The Nun said, ‘Very good’ and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, ‘Who is our Lord and Saviour?’

But Mary didn’t stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt with the pencil.

‘Jesus Christ!!!’ shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, ‘Very good, ‘ and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question... ‘What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?’

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.

This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, ‘If you stick that f***#@^ thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!’

The nun fainted.
_________________________


If my wife asks....all guns cost five bucks and ammo is free !!!

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#50010 - 09/29/17 02:35 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Happy Birthday Private Klink Online   content
Die Hard Rat

Registered: 05/08/12
Posts: 3667
Loc: S/W Missouri
But Mary was probably right! laugh laugh
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#50020 - 10/02/17 04:57 PM Re: Giggles [Re: RobStanley]
Carl Theile Offline
Survivor
Rattus norvegicus

Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 6374
Loc: Outside, anywhere
Mary is always right
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Survivor- Old School Swamp Rat (2003)

You are not out of options until you quit.

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